Unit 9 - Editing Skills

 
9.1 Objectives
 
9.2 Discussion
 
9.3 Summary
 
9.4 Lab
 
9.5 Exercises

 



9.1 Objectives

To Learn Revision and Editing Skills.
To learn how to proofread.
To learn what happens when a Peer Editing Copy (PEC) is due.
To learn some basic Correction Symbols primarily so that you might understand my comments, and secondarily so that you might be able to use them to edit each other's work.


9.2 Discussion

Editing papers is a critical skill, not just for me so that I may draw my meager paycheck, but FOR YOU, so that you may learn good writing by editing the work of your peers.
Recall two points from the Syllabus. First: In Collaborative Learning, we learn the things that we teach. Therefore, if you teach your fellow classmate what needs to be improved in her paper, you will learn by teaching. Second, recall that not only is your editing graded, but that days when Peer Editing Copies (PECs) are due are the most critical days in the course. On those days, a lot of learning takes place as you edit your peer's work, and they edit yours. Not only is your PEC draft graded, but your editing that you do on that day will also be graded. Do not choose a PEC day to go to the beach in Santa Cruz, or Kihei.

 

9.2.1 Revision and Editing Skills

With your own draft at hand (which is the end product of much brainstorming and organizing according to the principles of argumentation in Units 3,4, and 5, which resulted in a great draft with scintillating specific, concrete, and convincing evidence,) underline your thesis with two lines, and your topic sentences with one line.

Look at each of them to determine whether they are Restricted, Unified, and Precise (RUP). Do the words "I say this because" appear immediately after your thesis, followed by your Plan Step which is the summary of your topic sentences--your underlining should assist in this evaluation.

Look at each body paragraph and apply the UOCC test--Is the paragraph Unified, Ordered, Complete, and Coherent? Review Unit 3 if you have questions about this.

After you have revised and now have another draft, edit your own paper.

After editing, you now have a third draft--this is easier than it sounds since you are doing all of this on a computer? Yes? No?

 9.2.2 Proofreading Skills

Now it is time to PROOFREAD! Do a computerized spellcheck. Also do a computerized grammarcheck (Windows 6.0 and later). The grammarcheck is correct approximately 50% of the time and wrong 50% of the time. But it affords you the opportunity to think critically 100% of the time.

After you do these two computerized steps, it will STILL be necessary to proofread, because the computer cannot normally understand the context of a word. Recently a student sent me a request for a letter, saying there was a "death line," rather than a "deadline." A super student (3.96 GPA), but he failed to proofread. Would he have a 4.0 if he had exhibited better proofreading skills?

9.2.2.1 Special Note for ESL Writers.

Proofreading is particularly critical for ESL students, because not only is English a foreign language for you, but your own language is structured with different rules. Since you probably speak better than you write, one trick is to turn the written word into speech. In a quiet place listen to yourself reading your paper ALOUD. If you hear something you suspect is wrong, it probably is--if you feel some tension in your face, you probably have an error.

Also try reading each word aloud, backwards; this may help you to determine word omissions. Yes, I know there are no verb tenses in Chinese and no articles--that's why this text is so good. Thanks.

 

9.2.3 Peer Editing

Your very important assignment on a PEC(Peer Editing Copy) day is to bring to class a typed, complete, double spaced paragraph or theme, depending on the assignment. You may bring this on disc--if it's compatible, and you had best determine that before coming to the lab--or on paper.

I will give you two copies of the PEC sheet which is normally yellow in color--depending on what color the trees were. You will complete the sheet on two of your classmates papers, and will have your paper edited by two of your classmates.

Editing consists of completing the PEC sheet and marking on the draft. See HW 63-70 for what is involved in the details of editing a colleague's paper, and for an excellent example of a marked up draft.

You then take home your marked up draft which will have comments in two different handwritings, and two yellow sheets. You will then revise, and then PROOFREAD again. (You may even wish to ask a classmate to reedit your "final" paper.) When the final paper is due, you will turn in your final copy, the two yellow sheets, and the original PEC. It is at that point, I will grade your paper, and the editing.

On PEC day, I will come around and "weigh" your paper, i.e. do the quantitative assessment. Is it all there? Typed, double spaced? Complete? That is about all I will have time for. You and your classmates will perform the qualitative assessment.

Nice persons finish last. Be critical. Be tough--for that will help your classmate. If Sally's paper is weak, and you say, "looks good to me," it will not help Sally--and your editing grade will not look very good to you.

Note: Before you give your paper to your classmate for editing you should have already done the Spelling and Grammar checks. Do not waste your classmates' time, by giving her/him an unproofed paper. We may do machine editing vice using the yellow sheets. I will show you how to do that using the Insert Annotation feature on Word 6.0 or later. If your dog ate your disc on PEC day, he will also have eaten your grade.

There are no makeups except for family emergencies, coordinated in advance. If you have brain surgery scheduled for PEC day, at least make sure your paper gets to class, even if you do not. PECs are generally worth 20% of your entire grade, and their quality is often the difference between A's and B's, B's and C's, etc.

 

9.2.4 Correction Symbols:

Listed below in alphabetical order are the explanations of the hieroglyphics you will find on your papers. The right hand column refers to the Scott Foresman HANDBOOK FOR WRITERS, 4th Edition, which may be an optional text for this course. You are encouraged to consult any other writing handbook, or the WRITERS GUIDE which is a link on my homepage. I encourage YOU to use these symbols when you are peer editing your classmate's work. They are fairly standard.

 

 SYMBOL

 EXPLANATION

HW ref

 //ism

 Parallelism needed

 

 AGR

 Subject-Verb Agreement

 16a-e

 AWK

 Awkward Phraseology

 11a-d, 13a

 CAP

 Capitalization Error

 30 a, b

 CONTR

 Too informal to use Contractions in a College Writing Class

 pp.193-94

 CW

 Word Choice is poor

 10 a-d

 do

 Ditto- Same Mistake Again

 

 ESL

 A problem caused by lack of familiarity with English

 Chapter 31

 FRAG

 Sentence Fragment

 18b, 24a

 GR

 Grammar Error--try the grammar check in WORD 5.0

 

 HW

 Handwriting or Printer Problem--get a new ribbon/cartridge

 

 LOG

 Logic Error

 Unit5/hmpg

 M

 Inadequate or Wrong Size Margin

 34c

 MM

 Misplaced Modifier

 25 b-c, g

 P

 Punctuation Error

 Writers Guide

 PAS

 Passive Voice

 11c, 17e

 Para or PP

 No new paragraph, or needs new paragraph

 

 RA

 Read Aloud and Correct--Often helps ESL students

 

 REF

 Pronoun Referent

 20a-c

 REP

 Repetitious

 12b

 RS

 Run-on Sentence

 24d

 RTP

 Read The Problem--You did not follow instructions

 

 S or SP

 Spelling Error---Use the Spellcheck

 37a

 SH

 Improper shift in voice or tense

 

 SPT

 Inadequate Support for argument in Evidence or Analysis

 pp122-24

 TRANS

 A transition is weak or absent

 9a,b

 TS

 Error in Topic Sentence- should be an opinion-not fact

 Unit3/hmpg

 U

 Unity Error

 

 VT

 Verb Tense is Incorrect

 17a-f

 WD

 Wordy, flowery tagalog-like sentence

 12

 SMP

 SEE ME PLEASE---or call 408-864-8929, or email, or go

 to S43a

9.2.5 Sample Peer Edited Essay

This is the original, unedited version, followed by the peer edited version.

 

BLIND BY FAITH

Is it possible for a man to be so hypnotized by faith that he is incapable of apprehending the truth that surrounds him? Yes. The principle of faith centers heavily around the confident belief of an idea set by an individual or community. The story takes place during the period when all devoted Puritans adopt Calvinism; Goodman Brown being one of them. Calvinism presents the idea that all men are born sinful because of Original Sin. That is, all men are essentially evil within. Moreover, it preaches once man has sinned, he is "incapable of any spiritual good" (Hanko 2). Goodman Brown himself is a Puritan, but he is unable to see the dark side of human nature that runs parallel to the faith of his community. The faith in which he only sees the good in mankind is unique to him, thus resulting in the rejection of reality. "We are a people of prayer, and good works, to boot, and abide no such wickedness" (198), he says. The conflict between Goodman Brown's faith and that set by the community is apparent in the story. Hawthorne uses the imagery of nature to develop the theme of appearance versus reality. I say this because the path in the forest symbolically plays a role in exposing the reality that Goodman Brown rejects. He goes in the forest and walks along the path as a deceived man and exits with a shocking new view. Another use of nature is the serpent, which is a representation of Goodman Brown's deceived life.

The path in the forest represents Goodman Brown's foreshadowing perception of human nature as evil. The path through the dark woods depicts his naive view of mankind as "angelic." Filled with "innumerable trunks and thick boughs" (197), the path represents a giant wall of obscurity that has been shoved in front of Brown's face for his entire life. Feeling his way through the dark wilderness and anticipating the evil that is lurking ahead, Brown is like an innocent student yearning for knowledge. In this case, knowledge is facing the fact that "evil is the nature of mankind" (205). Furthermore, along the path the mysterious traveler "[plucks] a branch of mapleĆ·and [begins] to strip it of the twigs and little boughs" for a walking stick that was later given to Brown (200). The stripping of the branch signifies the "stripping" of Brown's faith, thus foretelling his inevitable yield to reality. Another way nature plays a role in pulling down the curtain of deception is the fact that the path is narrow at the beginning of the journey and then comes to a clearing at the end. This is indicative of Brown's pure, but narrow-minded perception of the good in human nature. However, as the path widens his faith begins to diminish and his views become more open. In the end, he finally succumbs to reality, and the reality is that all humans are sinners.

Likewise, the imagery of the serpent can be interpreted as a representation of deception. Of great significance to the story, the serpent-like staff carried by the mysterious figure personifies Goodman Brown's misconceptions of the unknown in human nature. Brown has been deceived by a highly programmed society to believe that humans are virtuous, but he comes to realize that when the curtain is pulled down, their evil nature manifests. The serpent is a suitable representation for deceit as they can appear one way, then shed their skins and appear differently. According to THE OLD TESTAMENT, it was the serpent that tricked Adam and Eve into eating the forbidden apples. "And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat" (Genesis 3:13). Even in nature, the serpent is seen as a cunning creature. The serpent, such as the cobra, is able to spread the hood around the area of its head and neck to make it appear larger to its prey and predators. Ironically, in the story it is the serpent staff that divulges the falsification of Goody Cloyse. With his serpent staff, the mysterious traveler "[touches] her withered neck with what seemed the serpent's tail" (199). Consequently, the "pious old lady" reveals herself as a witch and a friend of the Devil. As soon as Goodman Brown sees his community participating in the satanic act, and himself inevitability succumbing to evil, the serpent staff is not spoken of again.

The path in the forest, along with the imagery of the serpent associated with the mysterious traveler's staff, are symbolic of a mind that has been misguided by his misleading faith. As his allegorical name implies, the virtuous nature of Goodman Brown deters him from seeing his community in a different light. His faith conflicts with the faith of his community. The devotion to his faith causes him to live a life of obscurity and results in a detrimental yield to reality. In the end, he is constantly reminded of the evil that he had witnessed in the forest as he rejects everyone in his community. The use of nature by Hawthorne demonstrates the conflict between the world of fantasy versus the cruel nature of reality. The fantasy in the story is the faith of a sinless society; however, the reality is that sin is a part of human nature, which parallels the beliefs of Calvinism.

 

--------------------------------------- WORKS CITED---------------------------------------------

Hanko, Herman. "The Five Points of Calvinism." 1976: Internet. <http://www.prca.org/fivepoints/chapter1.html> 29 January 2000.

Hawthorne, Nathaniel. "Young Goodman Brown." LITERATURE: AN INTRODUCTION TO FICTION, POETRY, AND DRAMA. Eds. X.J. Kennedy and Dana Gioia. 7th ed. New York: Longman, 1999. 196-206.

L, Nakyeong. Peer Editor. Cyber-classmate to the author of this paper. 3 Feb. 2000: 2 hours.

L, Dazhi. Peer Editor. Cyber-classmate to the author of this paper. 3 Feb. 2000: 45 minutes.

The Old Testament: King James Version. "Genesis." Chapter 3, Verse 13. 1997: Internet. <http://www.weblicity.com/freedom/bible/GE_idx.html> 27 Jan. 2000.

 

BLIND BY FAITH

Edited by Nakyeong L.

(Student editor comments in ALL CAPS)

 

Is it possible for a man to be SO hypnotized by faith that he is incapable of apprehending the truth that surrounds him? Yes. The principle of faith centers heavily around the confident belief of an idea set by a person or community. In Nathaniel Hawthorne's "Young Goodman Brown," the faith of an individual conflicts with the faith of the community. The story takes place during the period where all devoted Puritans adopt Calvinism; Goodman Brown being one of them. Calvinism presents the idea that all men are born sinful because of Original Sin. That is, all men are essentially evil within. Moreover, it preaches once man has sin, he is "incapable of any spiritual good" (Hanko 2). Goodman Brown himself is a Puritan, but he is unable to see the dark side of human nature that runs parallel to the faith of his community. The faith that he has is unique to him, thus resulting in the rejection of reality. I FEEL IT IS A LITTLE BIT SUDDEN HERE WHEN YOU TURN TO THE THESIS FROM THE DISCUSSION ABOVE. MAYBE USE A TRANSITION? In the story, Hawthorne uses the imagery of nature to develop the theme of appearance vs. reality. MR.SWENSSON SAID NOT TO START WITH THE WORDS "IN THE STORY" OR "I BELIEVE" BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE WORDY. I say this because the forest plays a role in exposing the reality that Goodman Brown rejects. He went in a deceived man and exits with a shocking new view. Another use of nature is the serpent, which is quite an appropriate symbol for deception.

The forest INSTEAD OF FOREST, SPECIFY THE SUBJECT LIKE PATH represents Goodman Brown's foreshadowing perception of human nature as evil. The path through the dark woods is itself symbolic of his naive perception of human beings as "angelic." Filled with "innumerable trunks and thick boughs" (HAWTHORNE -GIVE AN AUTHOR'S LAST NAME 197), the path suggests the obscure and misleading views WHAT ARE HIS VIEWS? Brown has on mankind. Feeling his way through the dark wilderness and anticipating the evil that is lurking ahead, Brown is like an innocent student yearning for knowledge. In this case, knowledge is facing the fact that "evil is the nature of mankind" (HAWTHORNE 205), as the mysterious traveler puts it. During the journey, the dark figure "[plucks] a branch of maple and [begins] to strip it of the twigs and little boughs" for a walking stick that was later given to Brown (200). The stripping of the branch signifies the "stripping" of Brown's faith DEAL WITH ONLY PATH-FOCUS ON ONE SUBJECT, thus foretelling his inevitable yield to reality. Another way nature plays a role in pulling down the curtain of deception is the fact that the path is narrow at the beginning of the journey and then comes to a clearing at the end. This is indicative of Brown's pure, but narrow-minded perception of the good in human nature. However, as the path widens his faith begins to diminish and his views become more open. In the end, he finally succumbs to reality, and the reality is that all humans are sinners.

Likewise, the imagery of the serpent can be interpreted as a representation of deception. Of great significance to the story, the serpent-like staff carried by the mysterious figure personifies Goodman Brown's misconceptions of the unknown in human nature. Brown has been deceived by a highly programmed society to believe that humans are virtuous, but he comes to realize that when the curtain is pulled down, their evil nature manifests. The serpent is a suitable representation for deceit as they can appear one way, then shed their skins and appear differently. According to THE OLD TESTAMENT, it was the serpent that tricked Adam and Eve into eating the forbidden apples; "Then the LORD God said to the woman, "what is this that you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent beguiled me, and I ate" (Genesis 3:13). Even in nature, the serpent is seen as a cunning creature. The serpent, such as the cobra, is able to spread the hood around the area of its head and neck to make it appear larger to its prey and predators. Ironically, in the story it is the serpent staff that divulges the falsification of Goody Cloyse. With his serpent staff, the mysterious traveler "[touches] her withered neck with what seemed the serpent's tail" (HAWTHORNE 199). Consequently, the "pious old lady" reveals herself as a witch and a friend of the devil. As soon as Goodman Brown sees his community participating in the satanic act, and himself inevitability succumbing to evil, the serpent staff is not heard of again.

The trees and brushes NOT PATH? in the forest, along with the imagery of the serpent associated with the mysterious traveler's staff, are symbolic of a mind that is just about to be exposeD to reality. As his allegory ALLEGORICAL name implies, the virtuous nature of Goodman Brown deters him from seeing his community in a different light. His devotion to his own faith results in a detrimental yield to reality. In the end, he himself becomes evil HE DOESN'T BECOME EVIL. HE JUST AVOIDS THE EVIL. as he rejects everyone in his community. The use of nature by Hawthorne demonstrates the conflict between the world of fantasy versus the cruel nature of reality. The fantasy in the story is the faith of a sinless society; however, the reality is that sin is a part of human nature, which parallels the beliefs of Calvinism.

 

PRETTY GOOD PAPER . I PARTICULARLY LIKE THE FACT THAT YOUR PLAN STEP IS SO CLEAR. GOOD LUCK--Nakyeong

 


9.3 Summary

You will learn by editing, and

The Race goes to she who cares enough to proofread well.



9.4 Lab

 



9.5 Exercises

 


Last Updated: 9/2/09